So she returns

My dearest blog,

I don’t know how to express the sadness and regret I feel for abandoning you the way I did. There were no warnings or change, it just happened. College got in the either by mee directly doing assignments or me procrastinating from them by losing myself in Supernatural or Sons of Anarchy. But alas, I have returned. No longer will you be alone and silent, for I’m here once again to annoy the world with my ramblings and together, we shall be unstoppable (~˘▾˘)~

So I’ve been away for just over three weeks now, and I’ve missed blogging! Even though I don’t get much attention I don’t mind because I just enjoy the writing that isn’t lecture notes or assignments. But I’ve been a busy bee since I’ve been away. I’ve been to a ball, scotland and even learned a thing or two by studying (who knew that’s how it works 😉 ) but today I shall fill you in on the science ball, because it was a fairly eventful day and I wanna remember it.

So the day starts like any other, and continues like so until 6pm, cause that’s when I finish college on a Friday… Oh how I hate my nine to six days :/ But anyhoo, I finish college and then I head to home to shower and eat, in a very not rushed manner because I was home at 6:30 and I didn’t have to be at the place until 10:30. But in the middle of my getting ready (I’m meeting my friends there because they were there for the meal and I only got an afters ticket) I start texting one of my friends who’s in a pretty bad place right now because they’ve just lost a family member. But they reassured me they would be okay and late as always, I was on the way to the ball (Thanks R for the taxi drama 😛 ).

I arrived, having taken the awkward pictures my hosue mate wanted of me and my dress before I left, and wandered through the sea of people until I eventually found some of my friends in a state I could only laugh at. And by state, I mean that some of them were a drunken mess xD But hey, it’s a ball so why shouldn’t they? We talked, we danced and I even had a good heart to heart with a close friend in the bathroom (but we were both sober, so it was okay) and overall it was just really fun! Seeing everyone in dresses and tuxes was also great, as most of the guys barely get dressed up for a night out so it was weird to see xD One of the best things there was the photo booth though! It was amazing, but I actually only got to get into it once which was disppointing. But hey, at least I had that once!

However, despite this fun, I couldn’t shake the worry about my friend. So at around half 2 in the morning, I decide I’ve had enough fun at the ball and I hop in a taxi and travel across the city to my friends house. We just spent the night chatting for a while and watched some Rhett and Link. Though heading home the next morning did feel like a walk of shame since I just didn’t go home xD Obviously nothing happened but hey, a feeling is a feeling! But I think it meant a lot to them that I showed up, and I regret nothing about that decision.

The people we have in this life mean everything. I’m not a religous person, and I envy those that are. Someday I hope to find one I can believe in, but this idea of an all mighty and loving god who’s watching over us, protecting us is just something I can’t get behind. And unfortunately, that goes with an afterlife too. I tell myself there is one, that my loved ones who have passed are still with me. And while logically I don’t believe it, and if I dwell on it too much I don’t believe it, I allow myself to believe it just for a short while becuase it saves from the emptiness and darkness of knowing this is it. This is our only chance. But that’s why we have to make the most of this life; it’s our only one. No second chances. No do overs. We have to reach for the stars and experience everything we can while we still can. I’m not an adventurous person, and hell I don’t even think I’m that interesting. But I still want to experience everything I can before its too late. Because I don’t want to leave this world with regrets of things I wish I had done. And I’m determined that I will do it.

But before that, my very unphotogenic pictures of me going to the ball, because I may as well… Also, I don’t know where the rest of the pictures have gone but here’s the best I got 🙂 I’ll work on finding better pics for this at a later time!

IMG-20150130-WA0001 IMG-20150131-WA0004

Baaaaiaiiiiii ~


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